Saturday, February 18, 2012

Somehow, Someway, Someday

I don't know about you,but this has sure been a time of change.. I think most people can handle change in small doses but its the big ones that seem to knock me off my feet for a while. Most of us don't like it but will tolerate it. 

But what happens if  devastating change occurs in our life because of others or because we've just been plain ol blindsided?  And since the options are few it leaves dealing with it or not dealing with it. I've heard it referred to as a wall, a hiccup, a bump in the road, a pothole, drowning, your head just above water,  or even stepping stones as my dad used to say. Is it as simple as tightening your belt and going on..One foot after the other. Sometimes these changes are a necessity. Sometimes those changes are through no fault of our own. The challenge comes when I may not have caused it but I'm sure left to deal with it..then what???

though we cant see it now there's a hope, that somehow in the end it will not only work out but be whats best for us. There's a hope that will be a better stronger us at the end of it all..

But what do you do in the here and now, the very painful now, it doesn't quite feel so hopeful or like we will emerge the victor that's for sure..and because there's always a but), what do you do when it seems everything around you is changing at a pace that you cant keep up with..One that leaves you standing with your shield trying to protect yourself? What do you do when your blindsided so bad that it renders you stuck,useless, sad and depressed? When that small bump in the road that only required a little defensive driving turns into an avalanche of events that make you realize in a matter of seconds yours life's about to come to a screeching halt then what do you do?

Sometimes there's no one there to throw you a life jacket.Sometimes the only hope is you getting yourself out. Saving yourself. When putting your feet on the floor to start your day becomes the biggest challenge you've ever faced it is time to go back to basics. I'll tell you what, you start taking care of you..You stop all the sacrificing for everyone else and you take care of the one who matters

We end up in these places...maybe your place is man overboard with your head just barely above water, maybe your place is simply being lost, maybe those you thought you could count are not only NO where in sight but the cement block that's tied around your neck threatening to drown you.  Maybe a longtime friendship is now broken, a Relationship severed, Maybe you lost someone dear to you or your going to. Maybe your sick of being used and then throw to the side like an old toy..That day to day that used to be so comfortable has not only changed but now your left trying to figure it all out and wondering how to simply survive.

I do believe that sometimes these things happen to make us better, of course we cant see the better right now because right now it hurts & feels hopeless..I have to believe that all this change, all this heartache, all these lessons will somehow, someway,someday make me better and stronger. 

There's always a lesson to be learned and the past few years for me have been the proof of that..Big change in even Bigger doses. I've been turned upside down and shaken, I've been left stranded, I've even feared for my life. But Right now, this very moment, it seems like my life is getting fine tuned..a little tweaking here, a minor alteration there..I've lost Friendships I've lost loved ones..I've also gained friendships and realized who really loves me.

I've felt like the last man standing, Ive felt alone and abandoned. I've felt neglected and used up..Now i see what happens when you refuse too look at the truth or the situation for what it really is..It took a long time for me to be able to stand on my own to feet. And it took even longer to realize what I'm made of..because through it all, my fault or no fault of my own, you see yourself..when you constantly make excuses for others or worse you make excuses for yourself, you only delay the inevitable."PAIN" 
When it gets down to it, when I'm in that lowly place..that lonely place, that broken place.The only thing I can clearly see is what I'm made of. Sometimes I'm left with wondering how I'm gonna fix it or worse how do i deal with something that cant be fixed. For me the answer is taking care of me..for once choosing me..having a little faith in me..Asking God to help me.

No comments:

Post a Comment